


It’s Not Too Late

by Hockey_3720



Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Bullying, Character Death, Depression, Family, High School Dola, Love, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:03:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22139773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hockey_3720/pseuds/Hockey_3720
Summary: Thud. Thud. Thud.Danny’s heart was pounding out of his chest. He sucked in a breath and let one out as he took his position at the ten yard line.This was it. There were ten ticks left on the clock and once they were gone, they’d be state champs— they’d win 24-23.One blink, the ball was still on the stand. Two blinks, the ball was being kicked. Three blinks, the ball was in the air. And it was coming straight for Danny.
Relationships: Danny Amendola/Julian Edelman
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. 1

Senior Year of High School— State Championship

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

Danny’s heart was pounding out of his chest. He sucked in a breath and let one out as he took his position at the ten yard line. 

This was it. There were ten ticks left on the clock and once they were gone, they’d be state champs— they’d win 24-23. 

One blink, the ball was still on the stand. Two blinks, the ball was being kicked. Three blinks, the ball was in the air. And it was coming straight for Danny. 

Danny motioned for a fair catch as he moved up about three yards. The ball fell right into his chest and as he went to wrap his arms around it, it bobbled. 

All he had to do was secure it. It appeared to be too big of a task. The ball popped out, and before he could register what was happening, a wave of black and yellow jumped on the ball. He dove to get it back, but was instantly pushed back by the slightly taller guy getting up— the ball proudly displayed in his hand. 

Danny took a deep breath as he took in the scene in front of him. The ball would be on the nine yardline. He fucked it up. He really fucked it up. 

He began marching off the field with half of special teams hot on his trail. The bench was cleared, so with all his anger he threw his helmet. “Fuck!” He screamed as he moved to the bench and plopped down. His head immediately fell to his hands. 

“What the fuck was that, Amendola!? You just fucking lost us the game!” The quarterback, Mike, yelled at him as he came up to Danny. “You’re a fucking piece of shit! How did you not secure that ball!?” 

As he fought back tears, he looked up to see Mike with what seemed like the rest of the offense looking at him angrily. 

Before he could say a word, the crowd erupted and Mike tossed his helmet down. He looked back and rolled his eyes. “Of course. They won on a field gold. You fucked us over. This isn’t over. We will talk about this later.” He grumbled as he turned around. 

And Mike wasn’t kidding. 

When they returned to the locker room, Danny made a bee line for his locker only for his face to be slammed against it. A metal like taste took over his mouth. Great. A split lip. 

“You are the worst football player this team has ever seen. You still want to play in college? Do yourself a favor and don’t. No one will want you. You’ll just lose them games,” Mike hissed at Danny. “Like you lost the one for us today.” 

“Your skills are just as worthless as you are. You know that Amendola?” Someone hissed in his other ear— Clayton, one of the running backs. “Nothing to say, huh?” His head was slammed into the locker again. 

“You’re really not going to say anything?” Mike was speaking again. “God. You are a piece of shit. And we still have to deal with you at school until June.” Mike began pulling Danny’s hair, so hard it could’ve been torn out. 

The coaches walked in, and the guys instantly moved away. “You’re meeting us at the field when we get back, Amendola. You’re not getting off this easy.” Mike spat out, elbowing Danny into the l older once again as he made his way to his own locker. 

*** 

When the team got back to the school, Danny tried to go back to his car, but he was instantly dragged toward the practice field where he was met with about eight players with dark, angry, eyes. 

He received a few punches to the face, and at least a hundred kicks to his stomach and legs before being left on the field, in the dark, with a bloody nose and bloodied lip. 

The ride home was him using an old tshirt to stop his nose from bleeding as he attempted to keep his eyes on the road. His eyes were beginning to puff up to the point it was nearly impossible to see. He didn’t know if it was the black eyes that were starting to set in or his crying… or both. 

He was so tired— both mentally and physically. He still couldn’t figure out how he dropped it… Or why some of his best friends turned on him the way they did. It was now clear they weren’t real friends— but finding out the way he did hurt a lot. And not just mentally. 

When he pulled up the driveway to his house, he killed the engine of his old beater and sat there for a few seconds. He could see his mom just peak around the edge of the porch. 

Of course she was waiting. Like she did after every game. This time all he would get was pity. But he didn’t want pity. 

He just wanted respect. 

Little did he know it would be a while until he got any of that. 

In the weeks following the game, Danny found his spirits sinking lower and lower. None of his ‘friends’ would talk to him nicely anymore, he became accustomed to needing to protect himself over paying attention in classes, and his parents seemed to be arguing all the time. 

His world was beginning to fall apart and he couldn’t do anything about it. 

Up until Christmas, he received a beating from his teammates at least once a week. Once a teacher questioned why his black eye wasn’t healing, his ‘friends’ began hitting him in spots that weren’t visible, so he was left with bruises all over his torso, biceps, and legs. And he swore he had a broken tailbone. 

The day before Christmas break, he found himself being pushed down the stairs of the school where he was met with a hard kick to his back side. Pain instantly shot through his body as he rolled over, arching his back to get the problem area from having any pressure. 

Mike put a foot flat on Danny’s stomach and forced him down into the concrete. Danny let out a scream of pain as he tried to get Mike’s foot off of him with all his strength. 

“You’re fucking lucky I’m going to be in Mexico for two weeks, you little swine. But the good news is, is that we'll be back better than ever come next year.” Mike spat before taking his foot off of Danny. He sent one more kick into Danny’s side and walked off with the rest of his crew. 

No one intervened as he got any of his beatings, and he never understood why. When he managed to get himself up, he slowly but surely made his way back to his car. This wasn’t fair. He didn’t deserve to be treated this way, but he didn’t think that. He was beginning to doubt himself— he thought he should be hated. 

It wasn’t until Christmas Eve that anyone noticed something was wrong. 

He decided to take a step outside after their family dinner when his grandma came walking out. She sat down in the chair next to him and waited for a second. 

When he finally looked her way, she spoke up. “Is everything okay, Danny? You don’t seem like yourself lately.” She asked quietly. Her blue eyes locked with Danny’s dark brown ones— the ones that had been filled with pain for months. 

Danny let out a sigh and nodded. “Yeah,” he said in a low voice. His voice was rough, which was surprising because it wasn’t used very often. “I’m just drained from the semester.” 

She leaned over and placed a hand on his knee. He tried his hardest not to wince, but it was noticeable. “Danny, we all care about you. Please. If you need something… Anything, tell us. Tell me. We love you.” 

“I’m fine, Grandma. I’ll just catch some more sleep over the next few days,” he told her. 

She gave him a hard look for a few seconds before standing up. She held her arms out and motioned for him to hug her. “Home here darling.” 

Danny stood and wrapped his arms around her much smaller frame. Her scent always calmed him— it was his childhood. 

“Love you Danny.” 

*** 

It wasn’t until the day after Christmas that Danny began having “those thoughts”. He woke up, and the whole house was back to work, which left him by himself for the whole day. 

When he got to the bathroom to take a shower he stood in front of the mirror in his boxers. The person in front of him couldn't he him. That wasn’t Danny Amendola. 

Sad dark eyes with black bags under them were looking back at him. There were big bruises littering his abdomen and no definition anywhere— only skin and bones. 

“Who the fuck am I?” He said aloud. He shook his head. “You don’t even belong here. Why are you here?” 

He closed his eyes, then they snapped open, hoping he’d see Danny there. There was no such luck. 

Once he’d gotten ready for his extravagant day in, he found himself lying in bed again. No one was home— they were all living their lives and working. They were all clearly fine with going on with their lives without him. Besides, Matty was the golden boy of the family, and Danny was just in his shadows. 

No one would care if he was gone. 

The day before school started again. Mom, dad, and Matty were at work… Danny woke up and told himself that was the day. The day that would be his last. He didn’t want to go back to school. He didn’t want to be bullied again. He didn’t want anymore bruises. He didn’t want to be shit on anymore. 

He moved about the house that day, very slow. As if to say goodbye to every little thing he passed. The photos of his family. The photos of their old pets. The photos of the Danny he once was. 

As he stood in the middle of the staircase, staring at his senior photo, he cringed. That used to be him. It was the happy Danny who was being looked at by well known colleges… not lame ones like Texas Tech. 

He shook his head as he began to walk back up the stairs. When he got to the bathroom he looked from the floor and to the shower multiple times before deciding on the shower. 

It would probably be easier for his family to clean up. 

He pulled his sleeves up before reaching for his razor. Once he had the blades popped out, he pulled his knees up to his chest and studied the silver object in his hand. It reflected the light shining from the window perfectly. 

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

His heart was pounding. 

So this was it. This was how he was going to go. Not some crazy shit like skydiving like he thought he would when he was a kid— but by his own power. 

He gave the blade another look as his heart began pounding even harder and a loud ring took over his ears. His breathing became uneven as he swallowed hard. 

As he brought the cold object to his wrist, someone hands dove down, snatching the metal object away from him. 

When he looked up, there stood Grandma Amendola with concerned blue eyes. “Danny…” she whispered as she moved to be down on his level. “Please. Please talk to me.” She put the blade on the toilet seat and sat next to him, putting her hands on his forearms as if to protect them. 

Her voice was so soft, so caring. And Danny couldn’t take it. It was the first time someone had sounded that concerned about him in a long time. 

Tears began rolling down his cheeks as he leaned into her and wrapped his arms around her, crying into her shoulder. 

She just saved his life. 

And for that, he was thankful.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That caused Julian to roll his eyes as he pulled back on to the road. “Just take your coffee, man!” He said, clearly annoyed. “You’re such a sarcastic son of a bitch.” 
> 
> Danny just smirked as he leaned down to grab his cup of coffee. He brought it up to his mouth and pulled it away with a smile. “This is perfect. How do you do it, Jules?” 
> 
> Julian let out a chuckle. “Cuz I know you, Danny boy. You seem to like literally a dash of cream and two pinches of sugar,” Jules replied. He smiled over at Danny. “Your hair is wet. You forget to set your alarm today?”

Danny poured his pills from the orange bottle and downed them with a large glass of water. He was running behind, and even thought Jules would be picking him up any minute— he could not forget his antidepressants. 

In the nine years that he’d been on antidepressants, he was a lot better. He still had his highs and his lows, but he was much better off. It was only once in a while he had those bad thoughts, but that was when he’d forget to take his meds. 

The semester after that dreaded day seemed to go by extremely fast. A week after he got back he was offered a scholarship at Texas Tech, which he gladly accepted. He didn’t want to be too far from home, from Grandma, so it was perfect for him. 

At school, he found out what it was like to be a family again. What it was like to completely start over again. College taught him how to be happy again and the football team taught him how to live again. 

He was thankful for his grandma. If it weren’t for her, he wouldn’t have had any success in college, or wouldn’t have been signed by the Rams. Nor would he have gone to the Pats, won a Super Bowl… or most importantly met Julian. 

The day he met Julian, it was like something just clicked. They’d been at the same training facility and by the end of the day, Jules looked at him and said, “Video games at my place or yours.” 

Danny had responded with a simple ‘mine’ before he could think it through. The two had instantly hit it off. Danny could still remember it like the back of his hand. 

They sat on the couch, yelling at each other about who got to be what team before they both began yelling something that didn’t sound like english. The next thing they knew was they were laughing so hard they couldn’t breathe. 

The rest was history. 

Well kind of. They were best friends, but Danny constantly held back his feelings for Jules. He wanted Julian to be his lover, but he never thought Jules felt the same. Some days he’d be in the dumps about it, but then he’d always remember how lucky he was to even have Jules as a friend. 

Danny still remembered running up to his bathroom that day Jules went over for the first time so he could hide his meds. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed that he needed them, it was the fact that he didn’t want to deal with any questions. Especially from a new friend like Jules. 

Julian wouldn’t understand anyway. He was a crazy happy go lucky man who never let anything bother him. In fact anything that should have bothered him only motivated him. Danny wished he had the power to do that. That was why he admired Jules so much. It was one of his favorite qualities of the younger man. 

Danny was shaken out of his thoughts by a few honks outside of his house. He rolled his eyes as they kept honking— of course. Jules with his impatience drove Danny nuts at times. 

He quickly moved from the bathroom and into the living room where he picked his duffle up and made his way out. When he opened his front door, there Jules sat parked, looking bright eyed and bushy tailed like the squirrel that he was. 

As he pushed his way into the car and dropped his bag at his feet, he let out a sigh. “You don’t have to honk so much. I’m sure my neighbors don’t enjoy that,” he said as he leaned back into his seat. His eyes fell shut— it was too early for this. 

“Good morning to you, too, Dola! I guess you don’t need the coffee that I’ve brought for you. Two for me, huh?” Julian said, voice full of cheer. 

Danny popped an eye open and looked over toward Julian with an arched eyebrow before he took in the smell of the delicious coffee. “Ugh. Fine.” He grumbled before sitting up to adjust his posture. “Good morning Jules! How are you on this lovely morning!?” He questioned sarcastically with a big fake smile on his face. 

That caused Julian to roll his eyes as he pulled back on to the road. “Just take your coffee, man!” He said, clearly annoyed. “You’re such a sarcastic son of a bitch.” 

Danny just smirked as he leaned down to grab his cup of coffee. He brought it up to his mouth and pulled it away with a smile. “This is perfect. How do you do it, Jules?” 

Julian let out a chuckle. “Cuz I know you, Danny boy. You seem to like literally a dash of cream and two pinches of sugar,” Jules replied. He smiled over at Danny. “Your hair is wet. You forget to set your alarm today?” 

Danny let out a sigh and nodded, even though that wasn’t the truth. It was January third. It was nine years ago, on the dot, that he had attempted to take his own life. It was one of those days that would alway sit heavy on his heart. Another soft sigh came from his mouth as he pulled his phone out and looked down at the date.

That day was bone chilling for him. He hated the thought of himself swooping so low. Now he looked back on it as a sign of weakness, so it was something only his immediate family knew of. The only time he’d gotten close to telling someone about his meds or his attempt at an attempt was when one of his teammates on the Rams needed to be talked down, but that was cut short by other people making their way into the locker room. 

“Bro, you gotta cheer up! Today is an easy day!” Julian exclaimed, speaking extremely loud. “We just got some meetings and some footage review!” Julian has a big smile on his face. They were his favorite days. 

Danny let out a sigh. “That’s true,” he whispered as he turned his head to look out the window. 

He couldn’t shake the thought of what day it was. He was ashamed that he let it hurt him so much, even nearly ten years later. He was so thankful he didn’t hurt his family like he would have, but he just never should shake the feeling of disappointment that hung over him. 

“Is everything okay?” Julian jumped in, concern covering his face. His blue eyes were swimming with a look Danny couldn’t identify. 

Danny shrugged as he tore his gaze away from his best friend. “I’m just tired. I’m drained.” Danny's words were choppy as he looked out the window. 

And Julian could certainly relate. At this point In the season, it was like that for anyone. Everyone was drained; however, something seemed off to Julian. Danny certainly wasn’t himself. His best friend was normally a bit more talkative— even when he was tired beyond belief. 

As Julian stopped at the red light, he looked over to Danny and put a firm hand on his knee. Danny instantly looked toward him, dark, emotionless, eyes staring back at him. “Bubs, if anything is wrong, I’m here. I’ll always listen.” 

Danny blankly stared at his best friend for a second before finally nodding. “I’m fine. But thank you, Jules.” 

*** 

By the end of practice, Danny was feeling a lot more like himself. He’d been able to use football as his escape, much like he did at other points in his life. The guys were the same old guys and Julian seemed to let up on the curious eyes and endless questions. 

In reality, he knew Julian was just concerned for him. That was a nice feeling to have, but he would never admit it. 

“Dola!” Julian called after Danny as they slowly began to filter out of the meeting room. He moved up to Danny's side and knocked their shoulders together. “You wanna maybe grab lunch after practice? And play some Call Of Duty? So I can kick your ass again?” 

A smirk made its way to Danny’s face as he rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You mean so I could kick your ass? Like normal?” Danny chuckled as he looked to Jules. 

Julian rolled his eyes in return. When Danny locked eyes with Jules there was a small moment that he felt like everything was perfect. That his life was content— almost as if they were the eyes that he looked into and saved his life years ago. 

“Dude! I whooped you last time!” Julian shot back as they entered the locker room. They moved to their lockers with the biggest smirks on their faces. 

Danny rolled his eyes as he leaned in to grab ahold of his duffle bag. He was beginning to feel drained again. The meetings they had were the normal ones, but for the first hour he couldn’t help but think of the day it was. 

He hitched his bag over his shoulder. “You’re kidding me right?” Danny scoffed as he turned to his best friend and crossed his arms over his chest. “You only won because you made us play until two am and it was our 13th game!” 

A big smile was now painted onto Julian’s face as a twinkle took over his eyes. “Hey! I still won! And I fucking learned how to get around you cheating so much!” Julian shot back. 

“I don’t cheat! And you better not cheat when we get back to mine!” Danny jabbed back. “I promise you that!” 

Julian rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He said in a hushed tone. He grumbled and shook his head. “You ready to hit the road?” 

Danny nodded. 

The two began walking out as Danny’s phone dinged, signaling that he had a text. He ignored it for the time being. 

“What do you wanna grab? Or do you want to cook lunch for me, domestic Danny?” Julian asked with the biggest smile on his face. 

He knew Danny hated being called domestic. 

As Danny opened his mouth to shoot an objection at Julian, his phone began blaring out. Danny let out a loud huff and rolled his eyes as he moved to pull his phone from his bag. 

When he saw Matt’s name flashing on the screen he rolled his eyes and locked his phone so he could shove it back into his bag. Matt always called him on the anniversary… It was something his mom and Dad always did too. He’d usually finish off the day with a long phone call with his grandma as well— it was one thing he actually did look forward to on that day each year. 

“You could take a phone call, man.” Julian told him as they got to Julian’s car. 

Danny shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about it in front of Jules. “It’s only Matty,” He said. 

The phone began ringing again. He let out a massive huff as he slid into the car and rolled his eyes. “Go ahead, bubs,” Julian mumbled as he started the car. “Talk to him!” 

Danny let out a sigh as he dropped the bag to his feet and pulled his phone out again. He pressed the answer button on the screen and brought it up to his ear as he leaned against the window with his eyes closed. 

He wasn’t ready to hear the yearly speech. 

“Hi Matty,” Danny said in a low voice. Almost as if he didn’t want Julian to hear it even though there was only a center council between them. 

“Danny,” Matt said, his voice a lot louder than Danny was expecting. “Thank god you picked up! I didn’t think you’d ever answer!” 

Danny rolled his eyes. Why was Matt always so dramatic? The man only tried calling twice and he only didn’t answer once. 

“What’s up?” Danny asked. His voice was rough. 

The next sentence from Matt’s mouth nearly paralyzed Danny. They were words that would change his life forever. 

“Danny, I’m so sorry… Grandma… Grandma died this morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! I hope you’re enjoying!


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thud. Thud. Thud. 
> 
> Danny’s heart was practically pounding in his ears. He let out a gasp as his phone fell from his hand. He was looking straight ahead of him, shock taking over his entire body. 
> 
> Matty did not say what Danny thought he did. There was no way. No way. No. Way. 
> 
> She couldn’t be gone. Matt was just messing with him. There was no way. And not today of all the days in the year. This was a sick joke.

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

Danny’s heart was practically pounding in his ears. He let out a gasp as his phone fell from his hand. He was looking straight ahead of him, shock taking over his entire body. 

Matty did not say what Danny thought he did. There was no way. No way. No. Way. 

She couldn’t be gone. Matt was just messing with him. There was no way. And not today of all the days in the year. This was a sick joke. 

“Dola?” Julian asked as he looked toward his friend. He’d never seen Danny so pale. His heart began to race. “E-Everything okay?” As soon as the words came from his mouth he cringed. It was a stupid question and he knew it. 

He sat there for a second before realizing Danny’s phone was in Danny’s lap as someone, most likely Matt, was yelling and trying to get his attention. After a second, he reached over and the phone from Danny’s lap. 

“Uh… hey Matt… Dola… just… is er… in shock,” Julian mumbled as he kept his eyes on his best friend. Danny was still staring ahead with his mouth slightly dropped open. 

Matt let out a long huff on the other end before he spoke up. “I expected that… Grandma passed this morning. Can you just… Can you put the phone up to his ear for me?” 

Julian’s eyes went wide as he nodded. “Y-Yeah.” His heart began to pound as he held it up to Danny's ear. It now made sense. He knew Danny and his grandma were close and this was clearly unexpected. 

If Danny knew something was wrong with his grandma, he would’ve been in the first plane back to Texas. 

As Danny sat there, Julian held the phone up to his ear. A soft voice took over Danny's ear. “Danny… I know this is hard… Especially for. And today of all days. Just… Please call me when you feel up to it. I’m sorry to be the dealer of bad news,” Matt said. 

A stray tear pulled from Danny’s eye as he seemed to get his strength back. He lifted his hand up, grabbing ahold of Julian’s hand who was still holding his phone. “Matty… Are you sure?” Is all Danny mumbled as his nails practically dug into Jules’s hand that was still holding his phone. 

Julian was uncomfortable, but extremely concerned as Danny practically held his hand. 

“Yes,” Matt replied, practically broken. “I’m sorry Danny.” 

Danny let his eyes fall shut as he pulled Jules’ ahem and phone away from his ear. His head fell as tears began to fall. 

A few seconds later, his phone was placed in his lap and Julian let out a soft sigh. “Danny?” 

“She’s gone,” Danny mumbled as he brought two hands up and placed them over his eyes. “She’s really fucking gone. She can’t be. There’s no way.” 

Julian let out a sigh as he leaned over and placed a hand on Danny’s back. “It’ll be okay, Bubs. She’s in a better place now… Looking down on you.” 

Danny sucked in a shaky breath as he pulled his hands from his eyes. He looked back to Julian with watery eyes and shook his head. “You don’t understand Jules. This is just… Not today… Not now.” 

That made Julian pause for a second. Why was today so important? Danny was his best friend and he knew damn near his whole family— it wasn’t anyone’s birthday, and no one had died in that day before, well at least from what he knew. 

Julian let out a small sigh before shaking his head. He didn’t want to make Danny angry, so it was probably best to get the older man home. “Just… If you need anything, I’m here.” 

The entire ride to Danny's place was silent. Danny just looked out the window, not saying a single word as a million thoughts ran through his mind. 

Meanwhile, Julian gripped the wheel as hard as he ever had. He was extremely worried about his best friend, more than Danny would ever probably know. Julian loved Danny on multiple levels, but the time never seemed to be right. And with the way Danny was reacting to his grandmother's death, he wasn’t too sure he knew everything about Danny— like he thought he did. 

That was bone chilling. 

Maybe Danny wasn’t exactly who Julian thought he was. 

*** 

When they arrived back at Danny’s, he managed to hold himself together enough to get through the front door. As soon as the door clicked shut behind him, tears began pulling from his eyes, and once he turned the deadbolt, a small sob came tumbling out of his mouth. 

He leaned back against the door and slowly slid down it. Danny pulled his legs up and practically wedged his head between his knees. He wasn’t too sure if he was squeezing his head so hard if it was because of the ringing in his ears or if it was the fact that he almost wanted to end it all right then and there. 

His phone began vibrating in his back pocket, but Danny didn’t care. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, not a single soul. Once is stopped vibrating, it began to vibrate almost instantly. 

He grabbed ahold of his phone and looked down to see Matt’s name across the screen. “Fuck you, Matt,” he grumbled as he launched it across the room. 

It hit the wall and went crashing down onto the tiled floor, causing it to stop ringing. Danny let out a sigh of relief. Thank god for that. 

After a minute or so of complete silence, Danny managed to push himself up. He knew where he needed to go… He knew what he needed. He needed his meds. 

When he got to the bathroom, he yanked the top left drawer open and shakily grabbed the orange bottle. Once he checked to make sure he had grabbed the correct one, he read the label. “One by mouth each morning”. All so he could stay balanced. 

If there was anything that wasn’t balanced right now, it was him. He felt helpless. He missed his grandma. He should’ve called her that morning. He never got to say goodbye. 

Danny’s shaky hands uncapped the pill bottle and he poured the 10 remaining pills into his palm before downing them in one big gulp. 

He let out a sigh as he moved to his bedroom, where he crashed on the bed. When he lied back, he stared up at the white ceiling and ran his fingers through his hair— pulling at it so hard it could have been torn out. 

As he rested there, his breathing began to become extremely uneven and sweat began to coat his forehead. 

“Danny?” A soft voice asked. Danny instantly darted up and looked to where the voice came from. No one was at the closet door. “Danny, are you okay?” His head snapped to the direction of the door. 

That was when he saw her. “Grandma?” Danny questioned. His heart skipped a beat. She was right there in front of him. Her soft blue eyes were looking back at him. 

A chill shot down his spine. 

“Danny I-,” She began, but Danny quickly cut her off. 

Tears were pouring down his face and his heart pumped and his hands became clammy. “You’re alive. I-I thought I lost you,” He sobbed as he looked at her. “Grandma…” 

“Danny, I’m not Gr-,” she started again, but once again was cut off. 

“Please Grandma. I just… Can…” Danny leaped from the bed and moved right up to her, where he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. Her scent wasn’t the same as usual, but he chose to ignore it. 

He began to sob harder as he leaned into her. “G-Grandma… I’m so thankful you’re okay. I thought I didn’t get to say goodbye,” he mumbled against her shoulder. He pulled back after there was no response and met her blue eyes. 

She was silent— didn’t say a word. She just looked at him, eyes swimming with concern. “I… Grandma… I’ve failed you again,” he whispered as guilt found it’s way into his voice. 

He pulled away and moved back to the bed. As he plopped down on the edge, he brought his hands up to his face and shook his head. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to,” he said into his hands. 

The bed dipped down next to him and a hand was on his back. “What did you do, Danny,” she questioned, as calm as can be. 

He pulled his hands from his face and met those blue eyes again. “I took all of the pills,” he said, almost so quiet the other person couldn’t hear him. 

After a second, he tore his eyes away from the blue pair. “What pills?” 

“My antidepressants.” In his own little way he was proud of himself. Not only for not breaking down when saying that, but because of the fact that he actually knew it was wrong of him. 

“Do- Danny… You should probably lie down,” she told him after a second of registering what he had said. Her voice floated through the air perfectly. It was so comforting to Danny. 

Danny nodded and moved himself so he could lie back against the pillows. “Can… Do you think you could lay with me?” His voice was so broken. 

The next thing he knew was she was lying next to him. He leaned against her so his head was on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry,” He mumbled. “I thought you were gone. I didn’t know what to do. You’ve always been there for me.” Tears continued to fall from his eyes. “You saved me. If you hadn’t stopped my attempt at suicide…” He paused as she tensed.

“I wouldn’t be here today. I wouldn’t have some of the best friends I’ve ever had. I wouldn’t be able to love Julian and I wouldn't be as successful as I am,” he cried. “And it’s all because of you.” He stopped and let out a big yawn. 

“Go to sleep Bubs… You need it.” Her soft voice said as he began to drift off. “I love you, too, Dola.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated! Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


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